A long time ago-but really, not that long ago, think early 80s, a destitute, desperate young woman gave birth to a baby behind a dumpster. Tears spilled from her eyes more from sadness than from pain because she knew there was no way she could possibly support this new life! Although this pregnancy had resulted from the cruel and brutal rape of the young woman, she still loved her baby enough to realize she had to give him up to give him the chance of a better life!

After biting off the umbilical cord that still attached her to her baby, the woman wrapped him up in a tattered shawl that was the nicest thing she owned, and ran from the city, to the outskirts of town, where she knew a devout reverend lived alone with his wife.

“Jeg kan ikke by å ta vare på du, meg aller kjæreste barn, bortsett fra disse folk ville bringe du opp rett og skaffe en bedre livet for du enn jeg kanne.”

The winter winds were harsh and cold but she fought bravely through the snow as she clutched the child to her bosom, the tears on her face freezing to ice in the cold wind while snot rolled from her cold red nose, also frozen.

Finally she could see the shack she was headed toward and pressed on. Through a window she could see the reverend and his wife kneeling in prayer before a warm fire. She produced from a pocket a scrap of paper on which these words were written;

“Behage ta vare på meg barn, idet jeg kan ikke. Hans navnet er Toki.”

She tucked the note safely inside the shawl wrapped around him and gave him one last kiss before leaving him on the stone steps outside the house. She knocked on the door and hid around the side, listening to the shuffling footsteps within respond to her call. The door was opened and she peeked around the corner, seeing the reverend pick up the small bundle, read the note, then carry the baby inside and shut the door.

Releasing a sigh of relief, she hurried back toward town.

-

The irony of this is that three years later a rich Norwegian watch maker decided he needed a new trophy wife and married her and they moved to Beverly Hills in California where she landed a job acting in an indie film that turned into a huge cult hit and made them even richer. But she was just a simple girl from a small Norwegian town; she didn’t let the fame get to her head. She donated millions to animal shelters and volunteered at soup kitchens on weekends.

-

Fast forward to the late 2000’s, a young woman named Cyanide Jericha Moonbeam Pistolfist was watching a TV interview with the world-famous band Dethklok while working on her thesis for her doctorate on how to bring peace to the world when her mother looked up at the TV and gasped in shock when she saw the ‘parents’ of the band’s guitarist, Toki Wartooth.

Cyanide looked up and asked her mother what was wrong, and she told her young daughter that those were not the true parents of Toki Wartooth – she was, in fact, Toki’s birth mother. She then recounted the tragic story of her brutal rape by five men, the agony of concealing her growing belly from her hyper-religious parents, the pain of deciding to give him up, and the irony that if she’d just stuck it out she would have been plenty rich three years later to take care of him.

Cyanide was not surprised to hear this because she was psychic. She had known since the first time she set eyes on Toki Wartooth. Nevertheless, it was time to meet her brother, and so Cyanide quickly packed her things and got a ticket for the next plane heading toward Norway. While she was on the plane she was allowed to ride in the first class section because there were empty seats and the pilot decided she deserved it for stopping an attempted terrorist hijacking with her fingernail clippers. Other passengers bought snacks for her from the menu as their way of saying thanks and she gobbled everything down but didn’t gain an ounce because she had a really really fast metabolism. She charmed everyone with her stunning wit and great beauty and before the end of the flight, three men had proposed marriage to her and two other women were ready and willing to give up their husbands and children to start a new life with her.

She arrived at the airport and called a taxi to bring her to Mordhaus. The cabbie didn’t charge her for the ride because she was so beautiful with long shimmering hair and stunning eyes that changed color with her mood. Cyanide thanked him for the free ride and took her bag up to the front door of the Mordhaus and knocked. After waiting a few minutes a hooded guard answered and asked why she was there.

“My name is Cyanide Jericha Moonbeam Pistolfist-I’m here to see my brother, Toki Wartooth.”

“One moment, please.” He growled.

A few more minutes passed and the door opened to reveal Toki Wartooth. Cyanide gasped happily and came forward to hug her brother.

“Big brother! I’m so happy to finally meet you even though I’ve been psychically communicating with you for years about all the things going on in my life! I’ve come here to live with you at Mordhaus, aren’t you happy??”

Toki didn’t say anything. He only pulled a gun from his pants pocket, aimed it right between Cyanide’s eyes, and pulled the trigger.

As Cyanide fell to the ground, she realized she knew he was going to do that.

Toki waved the smoke away from the barrel of the gun and turned back inside the house, retreating to the dining room.

“Who was that, Toki?” Pickles asked, chugging heavily on his 8th bottle of Jack Daniels today.

“Just another goil who says she is my long-losts sisters, or something.” Toki shrugged, and threw the gun onto the table.

“Oh god, another one? I hate those bitches.” Nathan groaned.

The door to the dining room opened and another hooded guard entered.

“Master Pickles – there is a woman at the front door claiming to be your long-lost daughter.”

The drummer rolled his eyes.

“Again!? That’s the fifth one this week!” He sighed and picked up the gun from the center of the table and went to ‘take care’ of his ‘daughter’.